I have been on a spiritual mission lately. I have felt this strong pull towards rekindling and nurturing my spiritual connection with God and feel like I’ve been on my own inward mission lately. I have felt somewhat detached from reality and the busyness of life because I have all these thoughts going on in my head and desires puling at my heart. Despite this, it has been an incredible, enlightening experience and the best thing is: its only just begun!
A few things I have discovered so far (perhaps I always new these things in theory but had never truly and deeply experienced them for myself in practice):
- Nurturing the spirit requires that you fellowship with others, as well as spend quiet time in your own faithfulness. I remember my mom telling me this on a few occasions – referring to the importance of going to church, but I had always thought it wasn’t necessary and that I could do this on my own. Well, the reality has finally set in and I realise the importance of coming to God with a group of like-minded people, even if it is only once a week, and singing praises and listening to a prepared message about God’s Word. I have definitely felt a sense of spiritual fulfilment which has been lacking in my life for a while. What’s more is that Harrison is absolutely loving Sunday School and it is wonderful to see how he is beginning his own spiritual awakening and path (I’ll come back to this further down the page).
- Reading the Bible is also key to nurturing one’s relationship with God, but I have realised that to truly understand what you are reading and then be able to apply it to your own life and to “feel” God speaking to you, it has to be approached in prayer. I think a Bible study tool will also help to interpret the many wonderful messages God has in His word for me to live a full and blessed life. I am only just beginning this part of my spiritual journey and so will need to report back on further nuggets of realisation regarding this, but I am excited for it!
- God does speak to you, its just not always a “tangible” message. I think I have always just assumed that if God speaks to you, you will “feel” or “hear” it, whether as a stirring in your spirit or a voice in your head. I have come to realise in the infancy of this journey that this is not necessarily so and that God is always near, guiding me and speaking to me in one way or another. I have realised too, that he has ALWAYS BEEN near, if I look back and reflect on my life. It reminds me of the story of the footprints in the sand.
- There are so many amazing resources that assist in drawing one closer to God and have had such an impact on me in such a short space of time. I believe God guided me to some of these while I was looking for answers on how to better deal with and discipline Harrison, particularly in a Christian-focused manner. Godcenteredmom.com; Inspiredtoaction.com; the M.O.B Society and others have all been amazing and through the advice offered together with faithful prayer, my relationship with Harrison has improved and my feeling and love for him has literally revolutionised! The reason I say this (and this brings me to tears because it is a difficult thing to admit but one that I (I hope?) am perhaps not the only person to ever do so?) is because up until now (and Harrison is now 26 months old) I have never truthfully looked at him and felt an overwhelming love that so many mothers speak about. I’ve never known what that really feels like and when moms say “they wouldn’t change having children for the world” – I have never truthfully agreed with that. Its been hard and I have questioned whether having a child was truly meant to be my destiny BUT in just a space of a week and I believe with God’s grace, I just can’t get enough of him (Harrison). I love looking at his beautiful face and listening to his happy chatter and soaking up his joyful innocence. He is a gift from God and I just love him to pieces! This is also why there is another very important reason to teach and guide Harrison in the way of Christ. He is God’s gift to us and we (Andrew and I) made a commitment to God when we dedicated Harrison to the Lord, that we would raise him as a child of God. That is a special responsibility that we as parents have been granted. Not only that, but in the world we live in today, God is really the only anchor we have to depend on – He is steadfast and true! Harrison needs to know that if all else fails him in life, God will not.
I am sure that I am going to make many more discoveries of truth and have many more “epiphonies” along the way, but for now I can say that I AM BLESSED. In so many ways. I have an amazing husband whom I perhaps don’t always appreciate or at least show my appreciation for. I am sure this will be another area in my life where God (and I pray) will show His mercy and grace and bring us ever closer to one another to grow our relationship and love. I have a beautiful son whose soul is just so kind and loving and happy. I have wonderful parents who themselves made a commitment to God to raise me in a Godly manner and which I am only now realising how important it is and indeed what a blessing it is.
So that’s it (for now). I really had it on my heart to share this with whoever may read it. I’m sure there will be more as I learn and grow in Christ.
I AM BLESSED!